Posts from the ‘Republican Humor’ Category

How to Spot a Republican

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

“She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be an Obama Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”


How to spot a Republican?

This list will be updated continuously mostly for my own personal amusement.

I can usually spot a republican by some of these key terms/actions:

  • “We just need to pray for our leaders and pray that they are making the right decisions”
  • “It is my duty as a Christian…..”
  • “The Bible says its a sin….” < – This one really ticks me off. Picking and choosing what is right or wrong and blaming it on Jesus gives Christianity a bad name!
  • “Barack Hussein Obama”

A wee bit o’ republican humor